make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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