Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
She bit a glass in half.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
