'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
