Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
