His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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