So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
