it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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