he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
either way he was missing a nipple.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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