come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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