and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
