She said her name was "party"
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
