my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
