I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize