I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
We got so high we made milksteak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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