sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
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Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
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I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
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