i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
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