Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
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I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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