How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
