called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize