Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
People in love make me want to vomit
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
