How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
