When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
