I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
