Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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