I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
