Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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