you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Randomize
