I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
then he tried to convert me to islam
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I just gargled with NyQuil
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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