After last night, I could never be a politician.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
