Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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