Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
