You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
