after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
