i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
