so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
