i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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