Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
