I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
