U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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