so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Randomize
