Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize