When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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