Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
