the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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