Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Randomize
