normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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