I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
