I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I've blown a few things in my day
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
