i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
