people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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