her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
