whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
