Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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