I think I am morally bankrupt
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
