doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
