Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
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