Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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