Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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